


The Billionaire's Guide To Dating

by TheaterTherapy



Series: I Know It's Today [2]
Category: The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types, The Avengers - Ambiguous Fandom
Genre: Dating, First Kiss, Fluff, Happy Ending, M/M, Multi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-08-05
Updated: 2014-08-05
Packaged: 2018-02-11 21:39:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,484
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2084106
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheaterTherapy/pseuds/TheaterTherapy
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>As a billionaire, Tony has five sure fire steps to win him the man of his dreams... So why aren't any of them working?!</p><p>(Part 2 of Series: Sequel to Fast Forward)</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Billionaire's Guide To Dating

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you to all the comments asking for a sequel to Fast Forward. Here it is!
> 
> A/N: This is not a stand alone fic. It's worth reading Fast Forward to understand what's going on. It's not too long, I promise!

The Billionaire's Guide to Dating  
  
The clatter of glass caused the band of heroes to stare at the clearly shocked and pale billionaire. Tony's fingers clenched around the empty space where his glass once occupied, before looking down at the shattered remains of his drink. The amber liquid made fast work of soaking into the carpet. Shit. He'd have to tell the cleaning service to get on that...  
  
"My friend, are you well?" Thor questioned, giving the brunette a worried look. Tony blinked at him, his brain going offline for a second.  
  
'Oh, yeah, I'm well. Great actually! Except for the fact that I totally just planned my future out with your brother, hell! I've practically picked out the curtains for our summer home together! So, yes, I'm well!' Tony thought sarcastically.  
  
The engineer shook his head, turning back to look at the god. Thor had a confused look on his face. Oops, Tony must have zoned out longer than he thought. Recovering, the inventor gave the blond his grade A paparazzi smile.  
  
"Yeah, I'm well, Thunderbolt. Just slipped out of my grip. Damn, that was expensive too." Tony said confidently. He looked over to see Natasha shoot him a suspicious look, but she didn't comment. Thank Tony's lucky stars for that.  
  
After most of the mess from the drink was cleaned up thanks to the American poster boy, or Steve for short, the team settled in for movie night. It was Clint's turn to pick, so the team ended up watching Mean Girls. As far as the Hawk's movie choices went, this wasn't one of the worst. If Tony was being honest with himself, it was a pretty good movie. What? Regina has a nice rack... Whatever.  
  
As the movie progressed, Tony discreetly took out his phone and pulled up the recently added contact. As quietly as he could, he typed a short message and sent it.  
  
Hey sweetcheeks, why didn't you tell me Thor was your brother?  
-TS  
  
I would rather not have people know I am related to that blundering fool.  
-LO  
  
You know how to text? Thor could barely figure out how to work the toaster.  
-TS  
  
I am not as incompetent as Thor. Please do keep that in mind.  
-LO  
  
Tony couldn't help it, he chuckled. The red headed assassin gave him an odd look. The brunette shrugged back giving her a sheepish smile. Natasha rolled her eyes but returned her attention to the movie. When he was sure Natasha wasn't looking, he pulled his phone back out.  
  
When are you coming over, gorgeous?  
-TS  
  
Tony couldn't help it. He had the horrible habit of flirting with stupidly beautiful people. And let's face it, the ebony haired man knocked all those brainless models and muscly jocks out of the park. God, even thinking about him made Tony have to discreetly adjust himself.  
  
The brunette's phone vibrated. Tony looked down to find a text from his new crush.  
  
Right now.  
-LO  
  
A fluttering sensation clenched in his stomach. Loki was coming over? Loki's coming over! Oh, hell yes! Time to charm the pants off of a thousand year old deity!  
  
As a notorious playboy, Tony had come up with five steps that had yet to fail him. Now, it was time to use them on a certain god and win him a man. Yes, nothing was going to stop Tony from claiming the god for his own!  
  
Except for when said god walked through the elevator doors...  
  
Tony's confidence flew out the window like a spooked bird. The god was dressed in the same suit, only his trench style coat and scarf were missing, as well as his suit jacket, which he was casually carrying in the crook of his arm. The sight of him made Tony's hands clenched around his phone, as well as shooting heat straight to his core.  
  
The God of Thunder was the second hero to react to the god's presence. He leaped up like a puppy greeting his owner. Tony could practically see the blond's tail wagging.  
  
"Brother!" He practically ran over the lithe man, trying to embrace him tightly. The ebony haired man stealthily avoided the impending bear hug, ducking under the blond's massive arm and making his way into the living room.  
  
The Midgardian heroes looked up at the guest with varying looks of curiosity. Tony was practically salivating at this point. Steve was the first one to react, quickly standing and making his way over to the dark haired man. The blond approached him and offered his hand. The lithe man gave the offered hand a confused look, before reaching his hand out hesitantly and shaking. Steve gave him a polite smile.  
  
"It's a pleasure to meet you. Loki, right?" Steve asked,  
giving Loki a smile. Loki smiled back, taking his hand back.  
  
"Yes, that is correct. And you are...?" Loki questioned, giving the captain a charming smile. Tony felt his insides do something funny at that smile.  
  
"Steve Rogers." The blond replied.  
  
"Ah, yes, Thor has told me much about you. You are the patriot, are you not?" Loki asked, walking with Steve over to the couch. The team gathered around him while Thor returned to the couch looking for all the world like a kicked puppy. The group of heroes fell into easy conversation with the trickster. Of course, the trickster was very charming. Even Natasha seemed impressed. That was basically as good as a seal of approval!  
  
Tony kept trying to inch toward the trickster, but he kept getting cut off by someone sitting closer. The team seemed fascinated with him, especially Bruce after he learned that the trickster had magic. He even promised to let the scientist run some tests on his magic. Now, Tony loved his best friend, but he was stepping in on his territory. Green mean fighting machine or not, Tony wasn't above  jealousy.  
  
As the night progressed, the movie was paused and the team ordered pizza. They were excited to see if Loki would react to the food the same way Thor had the first time he had experienced the dish. The pizza arrived, and the team waited with baited breath as the trickster took his first bite. The lithe man let out a moan, savoring the exotic food before swallowing. Tony gulped, trying to cross his legs without his friends noticing.  
  
The night wore on, and the team started small conversations on their own. Tony waited impatiently, waiting for the moment when Loki was left alone. Finally, that moment came. The trickster was sitting quietly on the couch, Thor wandering off to find some Pop Tarts to show his brother. Tony took this as his chance to start his plan.  
  
Step 1: Charm Their Pants Off  
Charm your intended with all the kickass things you have done. A good conversation topic is talking about the expensive things you own such as cars, lake houses, a multi-billion dollar company, etc. If your intended is being particularly unimpressed, pull out the superhero card.  
  
The brunette seated himself closer than necessary to the god, offering him a glass of scotch as he went. The deity took it with a small smile, discreetly moving backward to put some space between himself and the billionaire. Not deterred, Tony put on his best flirtatious smile. What? He knew he was hot.  
  
"Hey. I'm Tony Stark. But you already knew that." The brunette said confidently, placing his arm around the back of the couch and leaning closer to the god.  
  
"Yes, I am aware. We met in the park earlier." Loki said, giving the brunette an odd look and leaning back. That stopped Tony in his tracks. Usually that gathered the opposite reaction, such as excited eyelash fluttering and coy touches. But Tony was nothing if not flexible.  
  
"So... How are you liking the tower. Stark Tower. My baby, my pride and joy." Tony rambled.  
  
"It is nothing compared to the halls of Asgard. Then again, nothing Midgard could produce could emulate her splendor." Loki replied disinterestedly, taking a sip of his drink. His face scrunched up in distaste before he set the drink down on the table. Tony raised an accusing eyebrow. Loki gave as good as he got and raised one back.  
  
"Don't like the drink?" Tony asked, taking a gulp of his just to make a point. Loki gave him a hard look.  
  
"I am used to sweeter ale." Came Loki's clipped reply. Tony let out an irritated breath, before realizing what he was doing. This was not how he imagined this going...at all.  
  
"Ah. So..." Tony said, pulling his arm from around the couch and back to his side. Loki turned away as well. So, Loki was going to play hard to get. Fine. Tony could roll with that.  
  
"Being a billionaire, I have access to the finest alcohol mankind can make. Maybe I can help you find something you would like." Tony proposed smugly, turning to face the handsome man. Loki rolled his eyes and faced Tony again.  
  
"Unlike my brother, I do not take pleasure in copious amounts of alcohol." Loki said irritatedly, pulling his phone out and thumbing through it distractedly. Tony, irked by the way Loki was ignoring him, turned to face the trickster angrily.  
  
"Okay, do you like to do anything fun?" Tony growled, his scotch spilling over the rim slightly with when he pointed on accusing finger at Loki.  
  
"Are you just upset because I have not fallen at your feet like the brainless harlots you are used to?" Loki growled back.  
  
"Hey! I'm awesome! I could have any woman I wanted!"  
  
"I have learned many Midgardian expressions, so I do hope I am using this one correctly... Whatever helps you sleep at night!" Loki yelled back childishly. Tony gasped theatrically, putting a hand on his heart. Loki scowled at him, white teeth looking sharp and dangerous.  
  
"Alright, now you're just getting your panties in a twist, princess." Tony said through clenched teeth. Loki looked ready to strangle him. Good. Tony had been wanting an excuse to use his upgraded suit. Just when it looked like the trickster was going to snap....  
  
"Brother! I must show you this delightful Midgardian treat! It is called a 'popped tart!' The 'cookies of cream' is particularly good!" Thor practically yelled from the kitchen, box held high like a war prize. The trickster sent one more evil glare Tony's way before stomping off toward his brother.  
  
Tony took his drink and downed the rest of the contents.  
  
'Well, that could have gone better....'  
  
Step 2: Buy Them Shiny Things  
If you find that Step 1 has failed, do not despair! Nothing says 'genuinely interested' like a thoughtful gift that shows you have been paying attention to their interests and desires.  
  
Tony could be honest with himself. Yesterday hadn't gone so well.... At all. How things had escalated so quickly was beyond him. It was like, as soon as he sat down, the trickster's demeanor had changed. It didn't make sense!  
  
'He liked me perfectly fine in the park! He even kept my number for Christ's sake! I mean, I was perfectly charming. Wait.' Tony froze for a second.  
  
'Son of a bitch! I did this all wrong!' Tony froze. He was trying to charm Loki like he did with brainless models and gold diggers. Loki obviously wouldn't be impressed with the size of the tower or how much money he bankrolled everyday. He was a goddamn prince, he already had all that! Shit. Shit shit shit shit shit! Okay, they had a rocky start. Tony could fix this. Yeah, Tony could fix this!  
  
Time to proceed with Step 2.  
  
The brunette made his way over to his private bathroom, having just woken up for the day. It was around 9:30 AM, which was terribly early for the billionaire. He groggily looked at his appearance in the mirror, taking in his unkept hair and morning stubble. Blinking sleepily, Tony ran a hand down his face and grabbed his toothbrush.  
  
The billionaire brushed his teeth and he scratch his head, trying to think of what an alien prince would want to receive as a gift. Shrugging, he finished his bathroom routine, stepping out of the bathroom with immaculate hair, freshly trimmed beard, and smelling of AXE body spray.  
  
Walking down the hall, Tony could hear the faint sound of amiable chatting and the sound of silverware clinking against the cutlery. Curious, Tony quieted his footsteps and peaked in the doorframe. He was met with the sight of Steve's muscular backside at the counter, making what appeared to be waffles. It was then that the delicious scent hit the brunette's nostrils. It took all Tony had not to let out a moan at the sweet aroma drifting from the kitchen.  
  
Shaking his head, the inventor looked in to see the other inhabitants in the kitchen. Thor had taken a seat by Loki, busily shoving waffles into his mouth. 'Yup, that's our adorable God of Thunder. It's hard to take him seriously with that amount of syrup in his beard...' Tony thought ruefully. The engineer also noted the reserved scientist sitting at the breakfast bar, quietly reading the newspaper and taking sips from his tea every so often.  
  
"Tony! I haven't seen you up this early, in well...ever, actually." Steve said, a hint of confusion lacing his voice.  
  
'Oops. Busted.' Tony thought, putting on a fake smile and walking into the room.  
  
'Oh, captain my captain, who said I ever went to bed?" Tony said questionably, making his way over to the unclaimed stack of waffles next to the super soldier's elbow. Steve sent him a reprimanding glare. He had given Tony at least three lectures on why sleep was important and how he shouldn't be tinkering in his lab all night. Like always, Tony ignored him and took a seat next to Bruce at the breakfast bar.  
  
The two started a conversation on thermo nuclear astro physics. Through the conversation, Tony kept an eye on the lithe man sitting in his kitchen. Loki didn't so much as look at him. That irked Tony to no end.  
  
"Loki, do you want chocolate chips in your waffles? I know Thor likes them from time to time." The super soldier asked, turning away from his cooking to ask the god. The god in question gave him an odd look.  
  
"Chocolate?" He asked, thin eyebrows knitting together. Steve reached around and placed a small handful of the chips in Loki's hand. The god looked down at his hand in confusion, which, in Tony's opinion, was quite adorable.  
  
Loki shrugged his shoulders and threw the sweet treat into his mouth. A moment of silence, and the god gave a low moan. That sound went to Tony's crouch just as another idea hit him. The god seemed to have one hell of a sweet tooth. Last night, he had seen the god practically tear through a carton of Cookies 'n' Cream ice cream, as well as a small tin of cookies that Barton had grabbed from who knows where. He could gift the god with enough sweets to satisfy his sweet tooth! Tony could get back on his good side, and they could forget last night ever happened! Excusing himself, Tony practically ran out of the kitchen.  
  
" Tony! You didn't even eat breakfast!" The captain yelled after the retreating form of the billionaire.  
  
~*~*~  
  
"Okay, Jay, what kind of chocolate do you buy for a prince?" Tony asked, tinkering with a piece of circuitry.  
  
"I believe this would be Ms. Potts' area of expertise, sir. She always did know how to charm your dates." The A.I. replied sarcastically.  
  
"Har, har, Jay, you're a real comedian. And are you saying I don't know how to woo people?" Tony rolled his eyes.  
  
"That is exactly what I am saying, sir." Tony glared at one of the A.I.'s sensors. J.A.R.V.I.S. was smart enough not to reply. Standing up, Tony began pacing his lab, which was made somewhat difficult by the amount of clutter around.  
  
'I need to look like I'm trying, but not look to desperate. Tony Stark and desperate don't belong in the same sentence together.'  
  
After some internet searching with his sarcastic A.I., the engineer decided on an extravagant arrangement from one of the most expensive bakeries in New York.  
Satisfied with his purchase, Tony sat back down and put his hands behind his head. He was a genius.  
  
Thanks to overnight shipping, the arrangement arrived early the next morning. Tony eagerly woke up early and placed the arrangement on the breakfast bar, knowing Loki would be the first one to see it, seeing as he had 'overheard' Loki talking about how he wished to get an early start to the day. By 'overheard,' Tony meant that J.A.R.V.I.S. had heard the conversation with Thor and had informed Tony.  
  
Rubbing his hands together smugly, Tony returned to his room to wait. Patience had never been his strong suit though, so he returned to the kitchen a half hour later to check his progress.  
  
Tony had been planning on entering the kitchen and proclaiming to Loki how he had ordered it just for him, and then Loki would fall madly in love with his generosity and ability to think about others. What he hadn't been expecting was a curtain blond god tearing through his once perfect gift, and a rather unamused Loki standing off to the side.  
  
"Who would buy such an atrocious basket? It's like they are just flaunting their money and hoping the damsel will see past it...." Loki said to his brother, inspecting his nails as he did. Thor's head popped up from the basket, giving his brother a confused look.  
  
"You do not like it? I thought you enjoyed these Midgardian sweets?" Thor asked, mouth full with said sweets. Loki scoffed, walking over and popping a truffle into his mouth.  
  
"I do. What I am saying though is that this was obviously made to impress someone." He said irritatedly. Thor nodded knowingly.  
  
"Would it have impressed you, brother?" Thor asked, poking the god in the ribs. The blond gave a goofy smile. "Has a potential suitor finally figured out the way into the younger prince's heart?" Thor goaded, pitching Loki's cheek for effect. Loki gave a toothy scowl, pushing Thor's hand off his face and storming out of the kitchen.  
  
"Obviously not!" He yelled over the blond's laughing.  
  
Tony have never been so glad he hadn't put his name on the card.....  
  
'I guess moving on to Step 3 couldn't hurt?' He thought sadly.  
  
Step 3: Never Be Above Bribery.  
If Steps 1 and 2 have failed, your love interest is playing hard to get. It's time to bring out the big guns and show him/her how serious you actually are.  
  
The team was gathered around a glowing StarkPad, looking up the times for different movies. It had been a lazy Wednesday evening, and the team had jumped at Natasha's suggestion of going to a movie.  
  
Clint was arguing for 22 Jump Street, while Natasha wanted to go to The Fault In Our Stars. Well, you couldn't say no to Natasha.  
  
"Tasha! I am not sitting through another chick flick with you! Jesus, Dear John was bad enough!" Clint complained loudly, even going as far as to dramatically throw himself over the couch. The red headed assassin stealthily made her way next to the archer. She leaned in to whisper in his ear. The archer's mouth turned into a wicked smile, and he turned toward his girlfriend.  
  
"You've got yourself a deal. Alright boys, looks like we're seeing The Fault In Our Stars." Clint's statement was met with a chorus of groans from the rest of the Avengers.  
  
"Just because you're getting some for sitting through this doesn't mean the rest of us are." Tony moaned, shooting an annoyed glare at the archer. Clint gave him a shit-eating grin.  
  
"So, are we taking separate cars?" Steve asked, always the voice of reason.  
  
"I would like to learn how to drive one of your automobiles." Loki chimed in from his spot on the couch. Clint scoffed loudly.  
  
"You'd kill us all if we ever let you near the wheel." Clint mocked, shooting Loki a smirk. Before the trickster could reply, Tony jumped in.  
  
"I'll teach you. I'll even let you drive us to the movies!" Tony said, trying to bribe the lithe man. Natasha and Loki practically had the same look of suspicion on their faces. Tony flashed Loki the puppy eyes, and Loki's face fell. He nodded once, and let Tony lead him to the elevator and down to Tony's personal garage.  
  
The engineer and trickster exited the elevator to be greeted by more cars than you would see at a dealership, and worth more than most people made in a year. Tony couldn't hold in the smug smile that crossed his face at the sight of his babies. Grabbing Loki by the elbow, he practically dragged him to the center of the car park. Loki shook his hand off and took a few steps in the opposite direction, eyes scanning the cars with a critical gaze.  
  
"Go on, gorgeous, pick one." Tony urged. Loki rolled his eyes, but looked over the cars anyway. Green gaze settling on the red, 2014 Corvette Stingray, Loki had chosen his car.  
  
"Good choice! Now common, hop in. You'll be riding like a champ by the time I'm done with you. You'll be pretty good at riding in this car, too." Tony let out a chuckle at the sexual innuendo. Loki sent him a scowl, grabbing the keys from Tony's hand and hopping in the driver's seat. Tony followed closely behind him, hopping in the passenger's seat.  
  
Tony spent about 10 minutes explaining to Loki the very basics of driving, even going as far as to have J.A.R.V.I.S. pull up some diagrams. Loki absorbed information like a sponge, which, in Tony's opinion, was really, really hot.  
  
Loki started the engine, and gently put his foot on the accelerator. The car took off like a rocket. Unfortunately, Loki wasn't fast to avoid the support beams. The car morphed around the beam, metal and glass shattering.  
  
Tony sat in stunned silence, eyes widening in an unattractive manner. The billionaire couldn't tell if he was stunned or angry.  
  
"My corvette. My $60,000 corvette.... How did you run it into a beam?! It was literally right in front of you!!" Tony yelled, hands aggressively running through his hair. Loki seemed to come out of his shock and turned to look at Tony with wide eyes. He gaped like a fish out of water. For the silver tongue, this was enough to render him speechless.  
  
"You did not tell me the car would accelerate so quickly." Loki said quietly, staring at the steering wheel so he wouldn't have to meet the billionaire's gaze. Tony felt his mouth morph into an ugly scowl.  
  
"It's a sports car, what did you think would happen?! Gallop like one of your horses up in godland?!" Tony screamed, punching the dashboard in a fit of frustration.  
  
"You forget, Tony Stark, that I am not from this world." The god said, his eyes turning steely with anger. Tony, in his anger, didn't notice. So he did what he did best, he pushed.  
  
"You're gonna have to sell your helmet to pay for this one, Prancer." The brunette seethed. Loki scowled, hands clutching the steering wheel until his knuckles turned white.  
  
"I am sorry, Stark, this was not my intention to-"  
  
"Well I should hope not!" Tony interrupted, turning toward the god. Without responding, Loki unbuckled his seatbelt and marched away from the car, summoning a large sum of gold in a tied bag behind his back before turning and placing it in the driver's seat.  
  
"Here! This should be more than enough to pay for your petty automobile!" With that, the trickster stomped out of the room and into the elevator.  
  
Tony banged his head against the dash...several times.  
  
~*~*~  
  
Maybe he had been wrong about himself and Loki being an item. Maybe that hotdog he had in the park had been laced with something, and he hallucinated the whole thing with Loki. Maybe Loki secretly had feelings for him but was too shy to admit it, so he hid his love with anger. Maybe Tony was a teensy bit drunk....  
  
Maybe it was time to move on to Step 4.  
  
Step 4: Screw Being Subtle.  
  
Tony had ultimately forgiven Loki for the whole driving fiasco. True to his word, there was enough gold to buy Tony a new corvette. Hell, there was even enough to buy a small shed to store it in. So basically, Tony was feeling pretty guilty for losing his cool and snapping at the trickster.  
  
To be honest, the engineer had never gotten to Step 4, before. It was odd, not having someone react to you like everyone else did. It was refreshing, but getting to be increasingly annoying. Tony had had enough. It was time to put all his cards on the table and pray that Loki called his bluff.  
  
Before Tony could talk himself out of what he was about to do, he ran up to the private library in the tower to find Loki sprawled out against a couch in a tiny nook in the corner. The god looked radiant, all white skin and sharp edges. Steeling himself, Tony walked over to him with confidence he didn't feel.  
  
'Well, you know what they say... Fake it 'til you make it.' Tony thought ruefully, setting himself down in the trickster's personal space. The god raised an eyebrow at him, but did not kick him off the couch immediately, so Tony would take that as a good sign. Swallowing audibly, Tony took a deep breath before starting his little speech.  
  
"Listen, Reindeer Games, this conversation has been coming for a while now." Looking up at the god, Loki's eyebrows had furrowed, but he didn't interrupt.  
  
"I know we got off to a rough start, what with you not understanding that I was hitting on you, as well as wrapping my car around a beam, but I like to think that as water under the bridge." Tony turned away so he wouldn't have to look at the trickster's expression.  
  
"Listen, I really like you. I'd like to have a shot at, well.... I'd like a relationship, if you're up for one. Hell, I'd even settle for a first date. I mean, you don't have to if you don't want to..but... Oh, fuck it." Tony reach over and grabbed Loki by the front of his shirt, bringing their lips together in a passionate kiss. Tony released the front of the trickster's shirt to run his hands through those silky locks, going as far as to groan against those unyielding lips. Wait.... Unyielding?  
  
Tony pulled back to get a good look at the trickster's face. He looked as though Tony had just run over his puppy and then spit on it for good measure.  
  
'Oh shit... Shit!' Tony could feel his emotions slip through his usual mask of bravado, all earlier confidence vanishing into thin air. He let out a mirthless laugh, slowly getting to his feet and roughly tugging a hand through his thick hair.  
  
"Okay then. You don't have to worry about me bugging you anymore. I won't." Tony said sadly, mouth quirking in a pathetic imitation of a smile. Before the god could get a word in, Tony turned tail and practically ran from the room.  
  
He punched the elevator button roughly, trying to keep himself from screaming. Why did he let himself do stupid things like this?! Oh, right, because he's Tony Stark, and Tony Stark likes to do reckless, stupid things.  
  
The elevator doors opened with a ding, releasing the inventor to his workshop. Now seemed as good of time as any to follow Step 5 religiously.  
  
Step 5: Wallow in Self Pity.  
Well, pal, it looks like you don't get the pretty babe after all. It's time to kick back, relax, and bring out the good booze. Nothing helps cure a broken heart like getting wasted and inventing things in your drunken stupor!  
Tony went over to his fully stocked bar and broke out the best scotch he had. Not bothering with a glass, he went over to his beaten up couch and sat down heavily, opening the tumblr and taking a hardy swig. The burning in his throat didn't stop him. He took another swig, and another, and another, and another.  
  
Hey! He was starting to feel better already! The alcohol dulled his senses and made the world seem like a happier place already.  
  
DUM-E rolled up to his creator with another bottle of scotch. Tony's heart filled with pride at the sight of his creation.  
  
"Thanks, DUM-E. Ya 'now what? You have alwayss' got ma' back. An' screw Loki! With hiss' gor'gous face and sex on legs bo'y." Tony slurred drunkenly, giving the robot's arm an affectionate hug.  
  
Okay, so maybe Tony was a little more hurt then he let on. He had done everything to get Loki to even look his way, and the god acted like he was a measly ant under his boot. He had seemed so nice in the park, though... Ugh! Why did he decide to go to the park that day?! Why hadn't he just ignored Steve's advice to go outside and smell the roses?! No, the outside was bad! The outside was where he met people like Loki! Maybe Tony could just hole up in his lab for the next decade or so, or at least until Loki went back to his floating castle in the sky. Yeah, good plan!  
  
Once Tony had had enough of his pity party, he pulled himself together. It was time to get over this stupid infatuation and cure his heartbreak like a real man! He was going to invent something. It was time to make something incredible.  
  
Tony slept off some of the alcohol. When he had a mild buzz going, he pulled himself to his feet and over to his work bench. He had his A.I. pull up some schematics he had been fiddling with for a while now. The idea was to make an Iron Man suit that could withstand the elements of space even if the suit went dead. Pulling up his stylus, Tony went to work.  
  
The inventor immersed himself in his work, forgetting about the Avengers, Loki, his company, he heartbreak, everything. It was just him and his work. Even while mildly drunk, he was a genius. He had figured out how to keep the oxygen in the suit running for a solid ten minutes, but was having trouble getting the repulsors to come back online without having to restart the entire suit.  
  
That was fine though, Tony liked a problem to work through and solve. He got so caught up in his equation that he didn't hear the soft glide of the lab door opening, or the quiet footsteps advancing toward him. He was only made aware of a presence in his lab by the hand that settled on his shoulder. The billionaire startled a bit, but didn't turn around.  
  
"Thanks, Steve, just leave the food by the door." He mumbled, chewing on the end of his stylus while trying to work out a particularity tricky park of the equation.  
  
"It is not the captain, little mortal." A silky voice said behind him, completely stopping Tony in his tracks. Tony turned around slowly, like a bimbo in a horror movie with the murderer standing behind her.  
  
"Loki?" Tony gave Loki a confused look. Loki gave him a small smile, before sitting done on the bench next to him. Tony scooted back a bit. It was unlikely that Loki wanted to be anywhere near him after that awkward first kiss, let alone sitting right next to him. The god rolled his eyes though, only to scoot closer to the inventor.  
  
"I have thought about what you had said in the library, and I agree that we should go out on a first date, but since meeting in the park, I have met the playboy, the billionaire, and the Avenger. When am I going to meet Anthony?" Loki let the question hang in the air, causing a thick tension to settle. Tony, in his sleep deprived, alcohol induced mind, couldn't connect what Loki was asking of him. He could barely get over the fact that Loki would want a first date at all! His confusion must have shown, because Loki sighed before trying again.  
  
"You hide behind your fame and bravado like a mask. Understand, I do not want nor need you for your money, or your fame, or the intellect. I want just Anthony. Could you give me that?" Loki asked, a sincere look in his green gaze. Tony just stared at him.  
  
'Just Anthony?' Nobody ever just wanted Tony. They were always after his money, or fame, or even his intellect. No one would want him if not for the masks and personas he hid behind. Besides, would Loki like just Tony?  
  
Emotions rushed through him, too many to distinguish at once. Tony took a deep breath, settling with one emotion. Hope.  
  
"I can agree to that. Only if you give me just Loki." Tony bargained, giving the trickster a hesitant smile. Loki returned it, giving the inventor's shoulder a gentle squeeze.  
  
"I will agree to that. I will see you tomorrow at 7 o' clock. You will take me somewhere that has meaning to you. And do not be late. I am not a patient man." Loki said, staring the billionaire down and willing him to go against him.  
  
Tony could barely believe his ears. He couldn't get a positive reply out fast enough. At the billionaire's response, Loki smiled and turned around to leave.  
  
"Oh, and Anthony?" Loki called, turning to look over his shoulder.  
  
"Yes?" Tony answered, furrowing his brows.  
  
"If you, how you mortals say, 'stand me up,' I will cut out your entrails and feed them to you on a silver platter." Loki said sweetly, before turning around and walking out the door.  
  
Tony started dreamily after him, even going so far as to let out a smitten sigh.  
  
'There goes my man.'  
  
~*~*~  
  
At 7 o' clock on the dot, Tony knocks on Loki's door. The god is stunning, dressed in a white button down and dress pants that hug his ass deliciously. Not that Tony was sneaking peaks.....  
  
He escorted the god to the passenger's side of his blue 69' Mustang Fastback and took off. The ride there was quiet, but not awkward. Tony would sing along to AC/DC blasting from the stereo, and Loki would laugh and make fun of Tony's singing voice. Tony would then poke the god in the ribs and tell him to do better.  
  
Finally, the couple arrived at a cozy Italian restaurant, tucked into the busy life of New York. Tony parked his sports car and then walked him into the restaurant.  
  
"Tony!" An older looking woman called, appearing from around the corner.  
  
"Isabella! How've you been, hot stuff?" The woman scoffed at Tony's endearment, but pulled him into a motherly hug.  
  
"Very good! Business has been great after those bloodsuckers of paparazzi caught you eating here." The woman said in an Italian accent, heartily clapping Tony on the back.  
  
"No, no, that extra revenue isn't from my appearance here. They come for the food!" Tony exclaimed. Isabella looked like she was about to argue, but a large smile broke across his face.  
  
"Oh course. Where else can you get an authentic Italian meal in Manhattan?" She said with a smile. She then turned to Loki with a motherly smile.  
  
"And who's this handsome young man you brought with you?" She asked kindly. Loki liked her immediately. In some ways she reminded him of his own mother.  
  
"My name is Loki, madam. A pleasure." He said, all princely charm and grace. Isabella let out a delighted sound.  
  
"Oh, and that accent! It's nice to meet you. My name is Isabella." She said, holding out her hand. Loki shook it and smiled.  
  
"Now, you treat our Tony well, he's practically family." She said, gesturing them to follow her as she led them to a secluded table in the back. The couple sat down and placed their drink orders to the waiter when Isabella left. Tony turned to Loki with a soft smile.  
  
"So, I'm assuming you want an explanation?" Tony asked, taking a sip of his water. Loki nodded.  
  
"Well, my mom and I stumbled upon this place by accident. Whenever she had some extra time for me, we would come here." Tony said with a nostalgic smile. Loki nodded solemnly. He could relate.  
  
The waiter came back with their drinks, and the couple ordered their food. After that, they fell into easy conversation until the waiter returned with the delicious smelling Italian food. Tony chowed down on his, and Loki seemed enthusiastic as well. He had ordered the signature lasagna, and was moaning in delight. Tony had ordered a basket of Arancini Veneziani (Venetian Rice Fritters) and Braciola. (Italian Beef Rolls in Tomato Sauce)  
  
"Here! Try this." Tony said, getting some of the sauce and meat on his spoon and holding it out for the god. The sauce was about to spill over.  
  
"Hurry! Before it falls!" Tony laughed. The god opened his mouth and wrapped his lips around the spoon before pulling off. Tony tried not to let his mind think about how good those lips would look wrapped around something else.  
  
The god let out a delighted moan. Tony giggled back. The evening continued much in the same fashion. Teasing brushes of hands, sharing food and witty remarks, and genuinely getting to know each other. The inventor would go as far to say it was the best date he had ever been on.  
  
As the night drew to a close, Tony took the god back to the tower and up to his room. They stood awkwardly in the doorway. Tony ran a hand through his hair.  
  
"So, I'll see you again, sometime?" Tony asked uncertainly. He had a great time, he hoped Loki did, too.  
  
"You most certainly will." Loki said, placing a chaste kiss on the side of Tony's mouth and closing the door behind him. The brunette felt a goofy grin spread across his face. He turned around and raised his hands in victory!  
  
Like he said,  the Billionaire's Guide to Dating never failed him.


End file.
